Hours of Torture, Years of Silence: My Soul was the Scene of the Crime

By Teresa Lauer, M.A., California: Institute for Interpersonal Relations, 1998, 158 pages

Reviewed by Nicole Schechter, B.A., Loyola College in Maryland

Teresa Lauer’s book, Hours of Torture, Years of Silence: My Soul was the Scene of the Crime, is an incredibly intimate and inspiring personal record of her own experience of psychotherapy, recovering from being raped and learning how to manage and work through Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms.  While the author does not specifically delineate the intended audience for her book, it is obvious that rape victims, sexual assault victims, and psychotherapists alike would benefit from reading this story.  Mrs. Lauer gives a vivid explanation of her rape experience and describes her resulting struggle with PTSD symptoms.  Throughout the book, she uses journal entries to better depict for the reader every memory, emotion, and symptom she experienced during and after her trauma.

The book is organized into twenty-one chapters, each of which denotes a different time period in the author’s journey through her recovery.  The organization of the chapters requires that the reader read from front cover to back cover as each chapter builds on the one before it.  Chapters 1 through 5 introduce Teresa, the main character, her husband, and her psychotherapist while also introducing the reader to the basics of Teresa’s struggles.  Chapter 6 reveals a very detailed description of her rape experience.  The following chapters describe the aftermath of Teresa’s rape and how she progressed through her therapeutic journey with her psychologist and how that psychotherapy influenced her interpersonal relationships outside of the treatment room. 

Each chapter consists of a bolded heading that indicates the date of the entry to help the reader understand the sequencing of her experiences.  As well, many chapters use bolded and italicized headings in smaller font to designate Teresa’s journal entries.  The journal entries are all transcribed in italicized writing to help the reader distinguish the journal entry from the other writing in the book.

An advantage of this book is its intimacy.  The author provides a very personal, honest, and detailed description of her experiences during psychotherapy.  She discusses improvements as well as regressions throughout her therapeutic journey, giving readers who are victims of trauma a realistic expectation of what psychotherapy might feel like for them.  Another advantage is the length and writing style.  With only 158 pages of content, the book does not intimidate or overwhelm lay readers.  Due to the shortness and informal diction, the book proves to be a quick read and should not consume much of clients’ time.  Psychotherapists can therefore comfortably suggest that clients who have been affected by sexual trauma should read this book.  Additionally, psychotherapists would obviously benefit from reading this book, as it provides such a clear and concise picture of what sexually abused or raped clients might experience during psychotherapy.

While the intimacy of this book can be an important advantage for many clients, the very meticulous description of Teresa’s rape experience in Chapter 6 might not be appropriate for all clients.  Before recommending this book for bibliotherapy, a psychotherapist should be sure to evaluate whether their client is emotionally ready to read this excerpt.

This book may very effectively be utilized for bibliotherapy.  Psychotherapists and psychotherapists in training who specialize in treating victims of sexual abuse or rape should read this book for their own knowledge and insight in the specific PTSD symptoms that their clients experience.  Victims would benefit from the book’s transparency because it will likely instill in them a sense of hope and motivation that they, too, can work through and eventually overcome their trauma and resulting PTSD symptomotology.

Psychologists should also consider recommending this book to families and friends of victims, as it will help them gain insight into their relative’s horrifying trauma and the lasting symptoms they experience.  Reading this book will also reveal to victims and loved ones the realistic challenges involved in psychotherapeutic treatment for trauma and abuse.

While no specific techniques or treatments are discussed in this book, clients and psychotherapists alike will benefit from reading about this sexual trauma and the long process of psychotherapy that helped Teresa Lauer overcome her PTSD symptoms.  For use in bibliotherapy, psychologists can assign the entire book all at once or direct the client to read selected chapters.  If the psychotherapist chooses to assign selected chapters and then discuss during session, the psychotherapist should be very familiar with the book’s organization and content.  In bibliotherapy, psychologists should refrain from suggesting this book to a client before developing a strong therapeutic alliance as the client will likely require a significant amount of support while processing the book’s content. 

Psychologists and psychotherapists interested in treating victims of sexual abuse should consider reading this book for its utility in bibliotherapy as well as its provided insight into the influential role that a psychotherapist has in the treatment and recovery of a sexual trauma victim.